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[ON BRAND] The comparison trap that's keeping you stuck
Why 5 minutes on social media makes you question everything you've ever done (and what to do about it)
Alexandra Manderstam
September 15, 2025
Hi there! Welcome back to On Brand - your weekly dose of actionable strategies and insights to grow & monetize your personal brand.
You know that feeling, right? You open Instagram for "just five minutes" and suddenly everyone is doing better than you. Everyone has figured it out. Everyone is working on bigger projects, getting better results, and somehow making it look effortless.
And there you are, wondering what the hell you're even doing.
I get it. I've been there more times than I'd like to admit. But comparison isn't just unhelpful. It's actually sabotaging your success in ways you might not even realize.
So let's talk about it.
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First, let's be honest about comparison
Seeing people doing cool things isn't all bad. In fact, it can be incredibly helpful because it shows you what's possible. It gives you direction, sparks ideas, and expands your vision of what you could be pursuing.
I probably wouldn't have done half the things I've done if it wasn't for seeing other people do them first on social media. It literally opened my eyes to possibilities I didn't even know existed.
But comparison is a double-edged sword. And more often than not, it's hurting you instead of helping you grow.
The 3 ways comparison is sabotaging your success
1. It makes you feel like everyone knows what they're doing (except you)
When you scroll through social media, it feels like everyone is crushing it. Everyone's content is performing amazingly. Everyone has all the success in the world.
But here's what I can almost guarantee you. The people you're comparing yourself to are also comparing themselves to other people. And that curated feed you're seeing? It's so edited and selective. You're only seeing the highlights, never the behind-the-scenes struggles or the content that flopped.
This makes you feel terrible about yourself and creates a mindset that's not conducive to creativity or taking risks. When you feel like you're the only one who doesn't have it figured out, you stop showing up, feel like a loser that’s not been invited to the cool kids’ table and definitely don’t feel inspired to take big, bold actions.
2. It dilutes your focus and pulls you in too many directions
This one is huge. When you're constantly seeing other people's success, you start questioning your own path:
"Should I talk about this thing instead of what I'm already talking about?"
"What if I started a podcast/app/course like them?"
"Maybe I should pivot to what they're doing..."
Our brains are wired to see new opportunities as potential solutions. It's called “novelty bias” aka “the grass is always greener”. When you see someone blow up on YouTube, your brain immediately thinks "Maybe THAT'S what I've been missing!" and treats it like a magic bullet that will solve all your problems.
But the thing that's actually going to make you successful is staying in your lane and focusing on what you're really good at. Doing it over and over and over again. Not pivoting every two seconds because you saw someone blow up on a new platform.
3. The goalposts keep moving (even when you succeed)
Even when you start seeing success, comparison doesn't stop. You just move the goalposts.
When I had zero followers, I compared myself to someone with 10K. The moment I hit 10K, suddenly it was "Why don't I have 100K?" When I made my first $100 from my own business, it felt amazing for about five minutes before I wondered why I'm not making six figures yet (when everyone online seems to be?!)
This constant 'not there yet' mindset makes you lose patience with the process and either quit too early or play it safe instead of experimenting.
So what do we do about it?
We probably all know comparison isn't helpful, but knowing and doing are two different things. Here's how to actually break the cycle:
Reframe every pang of jealousy
When you see someone doing something cool, instead of thinking "That's not available to me" → reframe it to "The fact that they're doing this is proof that I can do it too."
This simple shift changes comparison from a threat into evidence of possibility. It sounds simple, but it really works!
Choose ONE big, overarching goal
I'm talking about a big vision for what you want to achieve in your life.
Why are you actually posting content? Why are you starting your business? What do you want your life to look like in 10-25 years?
For example, I want to create tools to help female entrepreneurs succeed, and I also want to be a known voice in the female entrepreneurship/creator economy space.
Having this North Star makes it easier to stay focused when you see shiny objects everywhere. Use this goal as your decision-making lens.
Before you say yes to anything new or pivot your strategy, ask yourself: "Does this move me closer to my big goal?" If yes, do it. If you're just saying yes because someone else is doing it, or because it looks shiny and exciting, that's a no.
But if it genuinely gets you where you want to go faster? That's a hell yes.
Be ruthless about your inspiration sources
I follow a lot of people, but the people I actually consider inspiration? There are only a few, and they're doing very similar things to what I want to do.
Choose 1-2 people who are a couple of steps ahead of you, doing exactly what you want to be doing. Study them and reverse-engineer their actions. If you can get mentorship from them, amazing. If not, use them as "secondary mentors" where you watch and learn from afar.
And when it comes to other people you follow? You can appreciate other people's success and be inspired by what they're doing, but you're not going to be changing your strategies and tactics every time you see someone doing something cool.
The heartbreaking truth
This happens a lot and I want you to watch out for this.
People (very ambitious and very talented!) keep changing directions constantly, never giving anything enough time to actually work. They end up stuck in this really unpleasant place where they're always putting in so much work, always feeling uncomfortable because they're constantly doing something new (something they're not great at yet), and they don't see results.
So they start something else. And the cycle repeats.
Ten years later, they've been working really hard, constantly learning new things, announcing pivots and launches, but they have nothing to show for it.
Don't be that girl. Give yourself a chance to succeed.
Your action plan
Next time you feel that comparison sting → immediately reframe it as proof of what's possible for you
Write down your big WHY → What do you actually want your life to look like? What's the real goal here?
Audit your inspiration sources → Unfollow or mute accounts that make you question your path. Select the 1-2 that are doing exactly what you want to do.
Commit to your current strategy for at least 6 months → No pivoting, no major changes. Give it time to work.
The goal isn't to never feel comparison again (that's impossible). The goal is not to let it derail you from building something meaningful.